101 elephant jokes

Elli · #1 (**permalink**) 17-10-2007, 10:42 AM

Elephant jokes make me laugh and I know lots of them, so I thought I'd share a few. Let's see if we can all think of elephant jokes to get 101 elephant jokes, one joke per post and only posts with an elephant joke in them, so post 101 will have the 101st joke.

Here's my first one:

Question: Why did the elephant cross the road?

Answer: Because it was the chickens day off

I didn't say they were good jokes

At least this makes it easier for you all to come up with something better so let's hear yours

StuartDH · #2 (**permalink**) 17-10-2007, 11:42 AM

There's only one I can think of at the moment:

What do you call an angry elephant wearing pink ear muffs...anything you like, he can't hear you

StuartDH · #3 (**permalink**) 17-10-2007, 11:59 AM

I really like this idea so I think I'll set up a lot more of these across the forum. Here's the obvious one that I'd forgot about before:

Where does an elephant keep his belongings...in his trunk

Let's just hope they get better than this

goosey · #4 (**permalink**) 23-10-2007, 12:36 PM

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit cards

How can you tell when an elephant is under your bed?

Your nose is squashed against the ceiling

paul m · #5 (**permalink**) 23-10-2007, 05:20 PM

I thought the original one was,

"How do you know when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?"

"By the footprints in the butter ....".

We really need a groan smiley .....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elli

Elephant jokes make me laugh and I know lots of them, so I thought I'd share a few. Let's see if we can all think of elephant jokes to get 101 elephant jokes, one joke per post and only posts with an elephant joke in them, so post 101 will have the 101st joke.

Here's my first one:

Question: Why did the elephant cross the road?

Answer: Because it was the chickens day off

I didn't say they were good jokes

At least this makes it easier for you all to come up with something better so let's hear yours

goosey · #6 (**permalink**) 27-11-2007, 11:50 AM

A Man went to the doctors and said "Doctor, I think I'm a moth!, I go to bed and think I'm a moth, wake up and think I'm a moth - can you help me?"
The Doctor said "you don't need a doctor, you need a psychiatrist! What made you come to me?"
The man said "I saw your light on"

Sorry, I heard it this morning and it made me chuckle

wild worlds · #7 (**permalink**) 27-11-2007, 12:26 PM

To catch an elephant you need a telescope, a match box and a pair of tweezers.
Look at the elephant down the wrong end of the telescope, when he looks small, pick him up with the tweezers and put him in the match box…. But you have to close the matchbox quickly before he gets big again! WW

paul m · #8 (**permalink**) 28-11-2007, 04:02 PM

[I hope I've got the right animal here]

Dikdiks are small deer (AWF: Wildlife: Dikdik ) with the odd habit of kicking their droppings into a pile. No one has come up with good reason for this although it has been suggested that they are trying to get their own back on the elephants ....

Suzanne B · #9 (**permalink**) 03-12-2007, 07:55 PM

Well, here's number 8 of the 101 elephant jokes:-

Why couldn't the elephants play cards on the Ark?

Because Noah was sitting on the deck !

ericrovve · #10 (**permalink**) 04-12-2007, 09:14 AM

That's really awful Suzanne

Suzanne B · #11 (**permalink**) 04-12-2007, 11:38 AM

Thanks Eric......and that was my best one too!!

So.....How about this one then?.....brace yourself!!

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses on??

Nothing.........he didn't recognise them!

paul m · #12 (**permalink**) 04-12-2007, 04:04 PM

Are these the same jokes that came about in the 1960s or have new ones been created? I seem to remember that most of them turned into panda jokes at some stage?

There's even a band -------
.:: Elephant Joke ::.

PS: not knocking just interested!

Suzanne B · #13 (**permalink**) 04-12-2007, 06:02 PM

Sorry Paul.....I wouldn't know.....I was only a baby in the late 60's.

I'll ask my mum for you!

paul m · #14 (**permalink**) 04-12-2007, 07:08 PM

And, as they say, 'If you remember the 60s, you weren't there ... man!'

No, I'm just fascinated by this sort of eternal recycling ....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suzanne B

Sorry Paul.....I wouldn't know.....I was only a baby in the late 60's.

I'll ask my mum for you!

goosey · #15 (**permalink**) 07-12-2007, 08:05 AM

Q. What's grey, has four legs, and a trunk?
A. A mouse, going on holiday.

Q. What's brown, has four legs, and a trunk?
A. The same mouse, coming back from holiday.

Not elephant jokes but be honest - you thought they was going to be

Fiona · #16 (**permalink**) 19-12-2007, 07:32 PM

[b]what does an elephant do if he gets stuck in a tree?

Sits on a leaf and waits until Autumn.

Suzanne B · #17 (**permalink**) 27-12-2007, 10:08 PM

Hee hee .... Nice one Fiona

And here's my latest offering:

Why did the elephant stop??

Because he saw the zebra crossing!

(Rubbish I know, but the best I could do....sorry

)

Emmanuel70 · #18 (**permalink**) 20-05-2008, 12:55 PM

An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Damn", says the ant, "one night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"

Red tape - elephant joke:

Getting anything done around here is like mating elephants.
It's done on a very high level.
There's a lot of stomping and screaming involved.
And it takes two years to get any results.

animal_instincts · #19 (**permalink**) 29-05-2008, 03:17 AM

you mean the ant and the elephant made out that night? haha..i really don't get the joke that much..why did the elephant die? haha the funny part is the "one night passion" haha..