[The Jolly Swagman]

Most owners of cattle properties in Queensland choose to recruit the services of neighbours and friends to lessen the work load when looking for cattle that has stretched itself over several thousand acres of bush. Rog. and Jude’s property along the Dawson River was no different and soon the helpers started to arrive from neighboroughing properties and the local township. Their transportation came in all shapes and forms to cater for the myriad of gullies, stands of Brigalow trees and sections of sandstone gorge. Horses, and motorbikes were the order of the day, but taking pride of place amongst all of these was Terry’s Toyota Landcruiser. It stood under the shade of the Blue Gum tree ,in pristine condition, to be admired by all and sundry. Terry was rather unlucky when it came to vehicles. His last purchase ( a Ford Station wagon) received two kangaroo strikes, one in the front fender, and the other in the back door before he had driven it the 30 miles home from the showroom. This time his vehicle was unassailable having been fitted with the heaviest bullbar he could find,……. but was it unassailable?
The muster got underway early to escape the heat of the day,and the motor bike riders roared their way to the far boundary fence, accompanied by their dogs sitting in the pillion trays on the back. Closer to home Terry’s youngest son, Alec was working
A small stand of Brigalow. He gave a yell of excitement when a young unaccompanied Emu broke cover, only to be gathered up into Alec’s waiting arms.
“Look Dad… isn’t he Cool”.
Terry agreed that it was indeed a fine looking bird.
“Can we take him back home Dad, he will go great around the chooks?.
Terry hesitated briefly ,then agreed.
Now where would you put a young Emu until things cooled down and he could be driven home?. Of course the Landcruiser…along with a water bowl. What better place indeed ? Answer …..anywhere else but the Landcruiser.
Nevertheless, the captive bird was installed in his temporary home until the completion of the muster several hours later.
Returning home, the assembled group discussed the events of the day over a can of beer. Suddenly, a scream of agony pierced the air from the direction of the Landcruiser. Terry stood with his mouth agape as he gazed within it’s interior, his can of beer dangling limply from his hand. The crowd quickly gathered at his side to witness the subject of his horror. There before their eyes was the previously undiscovered testimony of an Emu’s ability to perform multiple bowel motions whilst performing overhead somersaults. Not one piece of the interior had been spared his attention to detail, and of course all was combined with the contents of the water dish.
Meanwhile the ingrate bird, as if aware of his spectator audience leapt from seat to seat. His large toenails making vast impressions on the leather interior. Terry’s mouth
Opened and shut like a beached goldfish but finally he managed to give voice
“Get the Bloody thing out of there”.
The back door was opened and needing no second invitation the Emu sprinted in the direction of the river, with Terry making loud and unkind comments about it’s parentage. Alec spent the rest of the day detailing the Toyota interior, closely supervised by his father. Here they made another amazing discovery. There is a ready and waiting market out there just begging for the adhesive qualities contained in Emu poo.